FOMO...

Last summer in a street fair in Vancouver, a vendor proudly displayed his self made concoction called simply, “Hot Dog Water.” It was exactly what it sounds like. Marketed as a compliment to the Keto diet craze, he sold dozens of bottles at almost $30 a bottle. The newest thing had arrived!

What many didn’t see was the fine print this entrepreneur had put at the bottom of the bottle: “Hot Dog Water in its absurdity hopes to encourage critical thinking related to product marketing and the significant role it can play in our purchasing choices."

In our efforts to be the first, never left behind and stay cutting edge, athletes, parents AND coaches will reach for the whimsical, absurd and sometimes even dangerous just to make sure they are not missing out from what another athlete, parent or coach is doing.

Say hello to FOMO.

This social media hornet’s nest is the Fear Of Missing Out. It’s often associated with the local gossip, (or as one 14 year old recently labeled it, “spilling the tea.”) plans your friends have and news events. But for purposes here, its relevancy is honed on youth sports.

“Why is their daughter able to serve rockets and my daughter struggles to get the ball over the net,” wonders a worried parent? What are THEY doing that I’m not? FOMO…

In her amazing book called, Good to Go, Christine Aschwanden talks about FOMO in athletes. She points out many athletes have FOMO. If they aren’t ingesting the latest supplement and sport drink or doing the latest recovery thing, then they believe they’re at a disadvantage to their competition. This idea of FOMO drives the marketing plans of companies hawking everything from special training foods and drinks, shakes, powders, training aids that fit on your wrist, special glasses, weight programs, extra practices, private lessons, etc.

Some years ago, a promising 14 year old came to her new volleyball club. She was ripped and athletic but had knee pain and many times couldn’t finish out a tournament. At a coaches query, her Dad pointed out that every day, he and his daughter would go run and workout at 430a so she’d be better prepared for college ball; EVERYDAY. His daughter’s injuries caught up with her and she stopped playing her 17’s year, using her maladies as her way out, but one has to wonder if the daily regimen had taken a mental toll as well. Simply put, she may have burned out.

This idea of FOMO is a breath shortening reality for Parents who try to navigate the politically charged atmosphere that High School athletics have become. If your daughter doesn’t make her HS team, no worries, she’ll just go to a smaller private school where she does. She can’t miss out on those end of season awards and flabby stats that can perfume up an athletic resume’ when U.S.C. comes calling, which of course (in many Parents’ minds) they will! This same mentality explains why so many clubs pop up year after year and the fall ritual of club migration to and fro are part of our Thanksgiving table discussions.

FOMO!

The originator of the “Changing the Game” project and the wonderful “Way of Champions” podcast John O’Sullivan says in a wonderful blog post titled "Is 'Fear of Missing Out' Ruining Youth Sports?", “We cannot allow the Fear Of Missing Out to be the primary driving force in youth sports!” 

FOMO! Always looking for that better club, (sometimes at great financial strain to the family) or that camp or clinic that their HS coach is conducting, the weight room sessions that will unfortunately be deemed more important than the family’s vacation to Disneyland and even the off season play that, at the moment, is leaving many of our youth players without an off season: an incredibly dangerous precipice to tip toe over. Think about every major or professional sport you follow: isn’t there an off season? And those are usually adults and professionals. These are junior players, sometimes 11 years old and younger, still growing and maturing, still figuring out their bodies and how to move in and with them. And many are playing volleyball 12 months a year!

FOMO!

One of the tragic but understated realities of FOMO in youth sports is the mental anguish it inflicts on unsuspecting parents and athletes. Coaching styles, which are as varied as options at a Starbucks, often put the health of the team, club and even their own ego ahead of the athlete's well being. (For reference, avoid those coaches!) But mental health has started to eclipse the horizon of sport in general, from professionals talking about pressure, eating disorders and suicidal thoughts to the stories of some who can’t help themselves and fall into the darkness. While it’s a positive this is being discussed more and more, it’s a catastrophe that youth sports has even come to this point.

When was the last time your athlete made a decision about their sport? Are they shuttled from one practice to the next, with training sessions and private lessons in between like pack mules hauling Parental dreams of the ever elusive D1 scholarship on their backs? Is it worth having a talk and asking them the question, “What do YOU want to do?” We assume as parents and coaches we always know better, but the reality is foggy at best.

Giving an athlete autonomy in their training and decisions helps keep them engaged, part of the process and makes them feel happier and invested. It’s worth asking the question.

Can we understand, as parents and coaches, that not all 12 year olds are the same? T.J. Buchanan is the technical director for athlete development at US Lacrosse and his quote is spot on. “There is no such thing as an elite 8-year-old lacrosse player. There are no high-performance 10-year-old lacrosse players. Some coaches may tell you different. Parents may tell you different. But what they are commonly mistaking for ‘elite’ or ‘high-performance’ is really just a young athlete who is simply more physically gifted at that given point in time, compared to their peers.”

Unless you have figured out a way to expedite the growth and maturity process in your kitchen, you play the hand dealt you. As a parent, this can be frustrating but as we talk to our athletes about, don’t worry about those things out of your control.

Finally, the mental side of youth sports is REAL! Coaches with USA Volleyball are being trained constantly about watching individual athletes and what their needs are, how best to communicate with them and understanding that each athlete is different from the next. They are also encouraged to understand that they, being adults but training kids like they are adults, is disadvantageous to an athlete’s overall success. Eleven year olds are NOT going to have the drive and athleticism of a college senior because…well, they’re ELEVEN! They are watching Sponge Bob and playing Fortnite and checking their phone constantly…to see what they are missing out on at the moment. Watch this video of a 4 year old’s hockey practice and see where his athleticism and keen mental focus is…

So what can we do about FOMO? Relax. Take the Disney vacation, even if it conflicts with 2 high school open gyms. If your athlete wants a week off, why not? Don’t we, as employees and bosses, take vacations too? Coaches, many of you will take some time post Club season to relax, reenergize and reflect? Why is it different for our athletes?

Talk to them and ask them what THEY want to do? Do they want to play another sport or play a variation of this one (beach or sitting or 9-man?). Or maybe, they just want to relax for a while. Don’t let FOMO’s dark cloud tsunami your athlete and your family.

Sports are a PART of being a youth, not the ONLY part, and it should be a healthy and fun part for the whole family. If your son or daughter is happy and healthy, you haven't missed out on anything!

"A toolbelt with a thousand tools..."

Every fall/winter, the leaves change colors, winter coats come out and the swallows leave Capistrano. It's also the time of year when professional beach volleyball players reassess their seasons and partners are shuffled like a deck of cards, often times not sure which hand will land where.

Which brings us to Casey "Boom" Patterson, one of the AVP's biggest personalities and a 2016 Olympian in Brazil with then partner Jake Gibb. His new partner is Chase Budinger, who spent 7 years in the NBA before committing his hand at his newest passion: beach volleyball.

On this hot April morning at the Grand Canyon sand courts, Casey and Chase are working with coach Ryan Mariano on how to take better advantage of Chase's verticality, to better handle wide serves and being more efficient in out of system situations.

They are a new team but there's chemistry already. Patterson is the affable showman, Budinger the consummate and guarded former NBAer and together, they make it work.

They were gracious enough to take 30 minutes post practice to talk to us about the coaching legends they both had in their first year of college and the transition to new coaches. Chase talks about the reality check of being in the NBA and now running his own career. 

They chat about the most influential coaches in their lives, how their coaching has changed over the years, how they can be the best partner for the other and which NBA players Chase would NOT want to see on the other side of the net.

Check out this 25 minutes with Casey and Chase and enjoy their insights. 

Casey and Chase Interview

It was only a clinic...

In his fourth voyage across the Atlantic in 1502, Christopher Columbus came upon the island. It was a sliver of lush green hills and forest surrounded by turquoise water for as far as the eye could see. What Columbus had found is now known as Roatan and is one of the Bay Islands off the coast of Honduras along with Utila and Guanaja. 

Roatan is a stopping point for cruise liners, depositing thousands of tourists from all over the world onto the paradise every year for tours, zip lining, scuba and snorkeling, dolphin encounters and of course, great food and drink. On the south side of the island, near a port township called Oak Grove lies a tiny town called Jonesville. 

Explore Jonesville a bit and you are introduced to the mangroves. Cut into the mangrove trees are small canals for inter coastal travel that would allow smaller boats to avoid the ocean’s wrath on a given stormy day. The legends are fixed around the Paya Indians, the original inhabitants of the island and of course, pirates who cut the canals out of the branches and roots of the red mangroves to hide from other pirate ships and the Navies and law of the time. 

Ms.Helen runs a small café and grocery on the shoreline, just off the main street of Jonesville. She caters to the locals who come to her in need of everyday items and for those tourists that come to the Oak Ridge township for tours, scuba and other adventures. She makes a mean tostada and the fresh catch of the day permeates her daily menu.

Behind her cafe is a dirt road. Two signs are set up high on telephone poles as you walk east. One says, “You’re a treasure,” the other, “Dead men tell.” Walk a little further up the road and you come across what seems to be a dirt parking lot until you look up. On the top of a semi steep incline lies a court. 

It’s a sand court but the sand is so thin it’s more of a hard court. Some players wore shoes and others went barefoot. Look around some more and you see color; bright blues, greens and yellows in the wooden bleachers and in the rungs of the 2x4’s that make the ladder to where lights have recently been installed.

It was just a volleyball clinic. Brought by the Bay Islands Beach Volleyball Association and included a couple of coaches from the US. It was a chance to work with some Jonesville locals but it became evident very quickly it was much more.

CommUNITY.

A team started showing up in purple and green uniforms, “Golden Chics” emblazoned on the front. Some went in between the bleachers and plugged in crock pots full of food. Youngsters pac-manned around and a visiting team from another part of Roatan was peppering amongst themselves. The “Golden Chics” milled around, saying hi to everyone, hugging children. The stands began to fill. In between the two sets of bleachers, some of the “Golden Chics” had begun serving and tasting each other's food as if there were an army to feed. It was just a clinic… 

After setting down her food, Ms. Helen popped up in her “Golden Chics” uniform and began to pepper as well. Before twenty minutes had passed, a dirt parking lot sitting in the shade of the steep incline was full of kids, with rope and ribbon tied to trees giving the kids makeshift nets to practice skills on. On the top of the slope, older teens and young adults were playing half court speed ball, although many migrated to the shady side of the court trying to escape the 90+ degrees that bore down on the sunny half. 

The stands filled even more. Grandparents watched their grandkids and some of the Jonesville elders came to watch. They talked to the Americans about when they played this game way back when, against the other towns and islands; a smile never leaving their faces as they spoke of it.

After an hour, the older kids grabbed a younger player and began to give them one on one, or in some cases two and three on one tutoring on whatever skills they were most comfortable teaching. The younger kids loved the attention and soon passing triangles, hitting lines and serving practice overwhelmed the single court. The stands were now packed. Some that arrived a bit later were stuck standing off to the side, taking pictures, chatting with relatives and friends and soaking in the electricity this small commUNITY had created. 

The “Golden Chics” squared off against the younger team from the other side of Roatan, most of whom doubled their training by playing beach volley. It wasn’t close. The “Golden Chics” were valiant in effort and poise and the hometown stands erupted with each hustle play or kill. At the nets were hugs all around; opposing teams, moms and daughters, teammates. 

After, a men’s team representing the other side of Roatan played the Jonesville men. During the exhibition, food was served, stories told, children hugged and the story of how this court came to be was offered.

A love of the game is where it all started. How the Mothers and Grandmothers loved to play when they were younger and they wanted the same for their sons and daughters. So Ms. Helen and the others in town had bake sales, they would make food and host teams and use the money to buy the net, to put up the poles and order uniforms. The lumber was donated by a local businessman and the paint was purchased to give the court its electric feel. Then the lights were added. It seemed in the telling that everyone in the town of Jonesville had a fingerprint on this remarkable volley oasis. 

They spoke of their accomplishments with pride: what they had built and brought to Jonesville and with everyone having skin in the game, they had plans for some restrooms at the top of the court and at the bottom of the steep incline, a kid’s court with lower nets so while the adults played, the kids could follow. No one in Jonesville would be left out of the planning. It was for the town.

And it was clear this wasn’t a one off project. This court was going to be around for the next generation, and maybe even the next. Volleyball wasn’t just a sport, it was a linchpin: it was commUNITY. 

We get jaded at times: the will and desire to win compromising our integrity and humanity, the express elevator for so many kids looking at the elusive full ride, the idea that humility and generosity not being conducive with being “competitive.” But in Jonesville, it all comes crashing back to reality.

Volleyball is a lifelong sport. It’s fun and connective and one of the world’s common languages. Here in Jonesville, it is used for all those things. It’s commUNITY.

As the games ended, the hands shook, hugs and high fives from athletes, coaches, kids, parents and spectators, a lot of the group walked back to Ms. Helen’s store and café, passing under the wooden sign sitting a few yards from the court. Yes, this was only a clinic, but the sign reminded us all of how we will remember Jonesville: 

"...doing what they love-how do I find a way to do that?"

In his fourth season at the helm of the Grand Canyon University Men's volleyball program, Matt Werle's Antelopes are "under construction" from the inside out.

With 3/4 of his team underclassmen, Werle is in the midst of reshaping and redefining both the personnel and culture of his program. He continues to adapt as a coach and a leader of young men while preparing and scheming for the best men's collegiate volleyball teams in the country every week. It's a daunting task but one he is geared up for.

Werle is an AVCA 30 before 30 winner, a National Champion as a college player and has earned respect and accolades throughout the men's volleyball spectrum by leading his team to 17+ wins in each of his first three seasons.

In this candid interview, Werle talks about his upbringing, his collegiate success and his unique 18 months where he was coaching the GCU men, Junior College women and both a boy's and girl's club team!

He also talks about his culture, his move from the MIVA conference to the MPSF where he battles Long Beach State, BYU, UCLA, USC and others on an nightly basis.

Enjoy this interview with Matt Werle and learn from one of the best young coaches in our sport.

Matt Werle Interview

"Don't Criticize Them..."

"Don't criticize them: they are just what we would be under similar circumstances."- Abraham Lincoln

Watch this video please:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQUiIrCo6JM

If you are reading this blog, chances are you are not a beginning coach. If you watch these three minutes of a Youth Basketball Practice filmed in the Fall of last year, you might see some things that would trouble you. What are the negatives specifically?

Now watch it again and find the things that you do in your practices, or that you maybe DID when you first started coaching? What are the positives specifically? Even if you don't think so, there are some there.

Now, here comes the hard part. Can you talk to these two young coaches and give them your feedback in a way that isn't condescending, isn't too complicated? Can you give them a plan of action for next practice? Can you help them be better coaches?

Can you do it all without bruising their dignity or making them rethink their "volunteer" position?

While it's still a challenge, coaching our teams is much simpler than coaching coaches. Coaches who coach the way they were taught, who see what other coaches have done and emulate them with no thought to the idea of science or human engagement. Can you reach them? Help them?

When we see the coaches at the highest levels of their sport, they have usually won with their teams but they have another gift that allows them to continue flourishing. They have the ability to reach other coaches! Maybe it's their "street cred" alone, but they have something to share with other peers in their sport.

Can you be that Coach? Can you help teach your local coaches, school coaches, YMCA or Boy's and Girl's Club coaches? Can you spread the wealth?

Most probably, without one of these kinds of coaches in your life, YOU wouldn't be where you are today. Paying it forward is the great coaching mantra.

"I'm no where near a finished product..."

Tom Black explained the drill to two courts of coaches, many of who weren't paying attention. He finished his explanation on his whiteboard, and sent the coaches to their courts to start the drill.

Then he waited.

The coaches were confused, asking him questions, but he didn't answer them. The coaches got more confused and frustrated. Black knew they hadn't listened as they assumed, as is often the case, that the coach next to them understands what they're doing and can explain it.

But they didn't.

The drill sludged along for a few minutes, then a couple of coaches came over to the white board, studied it and shouted instructions to the other coaches. Suddenly, one of the two courts started to get the idea and the other court soon followed. While it took about 10 minutes longer than necessary, the coaches had figured out the drill on their own.


Mission accomplished!


Tom Black is a teacher. And with this interview, done a few days into 2019, he explains in detail his journey from a young boy forced to play volleyball, "kicking and screaming" to his work as an assistant coach of the USA Women's National team in the 2016 Olympics working alongside Karch Kiraly.

His current residence is at the University of Georgia where he is positioned to turn around a program in desperate need of volleyball success.

Along the way, Tom talks about himself as a young coach and his transformation into a never satisfied coach who "always needs to get better." 

Enjoy this 35 minutes with one of the best teachers in our sport and one of the better gentlemen to coach our profession.

Tom Black Interview

"I"m the best coach I've ever been..."

He's the Dean of Volleyball coaches in the state, having been at the University of Arizona for the past 27 years. This year he led his Wildcats to his 20th NCAA appearance and their 14th 20 win season with a 22-11 mark, and 11-9 in arguably the toughest conference in the country, the PAC-12. Along the way, he earned his 500th win putting him behind only UCLA's Andy Banachowski as the winningest coach in the PAC-12 conference. 

At a gaudy 512-320 over his almost 3 decades, David Rubio has stayed consistently competitive with the rest of the conference AND country but has personally seen his coaching style and culture change considerably.

Coach Rubio sat down with us on the morning before his last regular season match v. ASU at a Mesa Sheraton coffee shop. (Our apologies for the background noise!) His team was preparing for a serve and pass practice after the interview and he was confident that his Wildcats had done enough to earn another trip to the NCAA tournament, which as it turns out, they did.

In this frank and comprehensive conversation, Rubio talks about his changes as a coach, what kind of athletes he recruits and his expectations of them, some former and current players and his vision for the future of the Club system that he is now also a part of.

Rubio is engaging, honest and doesn't hold back as he talks about his biggest influences coming up as a player and young coach, the "old" Dave Rubio v. the "new" one and advice for players, parents and coaches.

Enjoy Coach David Rubio's insights, opinions and experiences, taken from one of the best, most consistent and experienced coaches in America.

David Rubio Interview Pt. I

David Rubio Interview Pt. II